Asrai Devin- the Maven of Mischief

Putting the fun back in dysfunctional.

Tag Archives: parenting

What I really want

 

I always think I want to help  people. I want to give them advice and guide them to their right path.

That sounds nice, but what I really want is to tell people what to do and have them listen. Because, I think I know better than other people.

It’s probably not true, but it seems that way when I hang out on Yahoo Answers. I’ve written about it before, I hang out on the newborn board and the Toddler/Preschool Section. Stay away from Pregnancy where every third question is literally “Am I pregnant?” And then the details that follow are either a bunch of vague symptoms or some teen who had sex three days ago and is freaking out because they didn’t use protection, or started taking the pill three days ago or didn’t actually have sex. Every fifth question is asking which of two optional dates/men knocked up the particular asker.

There used to be a person answering under the name “K” who is my favorite person on Yahoo Answers. She just flat out says “you’re an idiot, if you bothered informing yourself you’d know this, this and this.” She’s kind of disappeared again and I feel the need to take her place a little, plus the repetitive questions are wearing.

“My son hits people. We spank, put him in time and throw his toys away as a consequences. He’s getting worse, what should we do?”

Well, smarty pants, hitting your child for hitting is you getting revenge. All punishment only brings attention the wrong he’s done. You don’t teach him what to do next time.  (I could rant on this stuff all, check out http://www.ahaparenting.com for the best advice in this regard).

It’s like you having a job and your boss stands next to you and watches you work. Every hour or so, your boss hits you over the head and says “You’re doing that wrong, go stand in the corner for five minutes.” Your five minutes is up, you return to work, you don’t know what to do since your boss wandered off. But he returns and hits you over the head again and says “you’re doing that wrong, go stand in the corner again.”

You have to teach your child how to express himself. And you have to listen to your child’s needs.

//End of answer

It amazes me how many people believe their children are trying to manipulate them via tantrums and crying.

And the thing I’ve learned most about people via yahoo answers, is that they are not willing to inform themselves. At least a quarter of the questions could be answered by people themselves by learning how to properly use a search engine.

It’s probably better that I can’t see if people take my advice or not. I’d probably jump down their throats if they choose something else. I don’t even check best answer (unless I win the contest and give the best answer).

 

Enhanced by Zemanta

Rose coloured past

I read this really great article on HuffPost Canada, parents division (Is there a part of life that huff doesn’t cover? okay i don’t think they have a jail version, any day now-HuffPost i want full credit on that one!) titled Don’t Carpe Diem. It really wasn’t about seizing the day, but more about enjoying every minute, in the author’s view enjoying parenting.

It’s great to look back and say, man last year was great we did all this awesome stuff. Truthfully, most of it wasn’t that great. We just quickly glaze over the daily grind, the struggles, and just the stuff that makes us happy to go to bed and be unconscious for a few hours.

This isn’t just parenting either.

Working sucks. Even if you have your dream job that you love, you still struggle. There is still shit to deal with that you don’t want to. As the article quotes a famous author saying “I don’t love writing, I  love having written.” (Who is this famous author butchering the English language anyway? His/her quote doesn’t make sense) There are parts you love and parts you hate.

Other things that suck: cooking, entertaining, cleaning house, writing blog posts, researching, grocery shopping, decluttering, taking the garbage out AND sitting through an entire episode of that show you hate but someone you love loves. (This is a short list, not at all comprehensive of things that sometimes suck).

You know what is great: eating delicious food, spending time with loved ones, not tripping over toys, getting comments from readers, having people tell ne I’m right, having food in the house, more space in the house, the people who drive by and take our garbage out  of sight and out of mind, and spending quality time with special someone. (Again, list is not meant to be comprehensive).

Do you have rose coloured glasses of the past and expect them of the present as well?

Maybe i’m wrong, can someone enjoy every moment?

 

Enhanced by Zemanta

Parenting VS Fighting Evil

I was going to make this parenting VS fighting darkspawn (ala Dragon Ages) but I thought I would branch out.

My daughter and I were leaving the grocery store and my 2 year old protested when I picked him up to go to our vehicle. Protested is an euphemism, he screamed in my ear at the top of his lungs.

I looked at my daughter and said, I’d rather fight evil then deal with him right now. And we started joking about ways that parenting is harder then fighting evil.

1. Options.

Parenting: a variety of options which range from passive (give into the child), assertive and positive (nurture the emotions but don’t give in on the limits you set), aggressive (my way or the highway) or even physical.

Fighting evil: Always aggressive and always physical. Stab, hurt, end.

2. What`s best for me.

Parenting: once you have children what works for the parent is a distant second to the child’s needs. Most of the time.

Fighting evil: this thing needs to die. Stab, hurt end.

3. Weapons

Parenting: my wits, and some days I’m pretty sure I’ve come to the battle unarmed and without enough armour.

Fighting Evil: swords, cross bows, arrows, daggers, hands, feet, and if you are lucky magic.

4. Victory

Parenting: once you are labelled parent, no matter how it comes about, you are a parent to that child(ren) for the rest of your life. I suppose if you get your children off to college and then living on their own, you could claim victory, but there are lots of little bumps ahead  yet.

Fighting evil: if you’ve done your job, the evil is ended and you can go the local tavern and celebrate with any companions who may have survived. If you haven’t done your job, evil has taken over the entire world and you are the one who is dead.

5. Allies

Parenting: I have a husband, and my Sister-in-law. My mom lives far away, my dad is recovering from back surgery and we recently moved and I don’t have many friends here yet. My husband is pretty good, but he works long hours.

Fighting evil: a motley crew of various characters who can run from crazy to insanely loyal to people who tag along and bitch about it the whole time. But at least they are well-armed.

What would you prefer parenting or fighting evil?

Enhanced by Zemanta

Interspiration #3

The power of positive thinking from @ColeenPatrick  http://bit.ly/suVOct

An ode to thick thighs and squishy bellys (and other unperfect bodies). http://bit.ly/w3Z58h

@TameriEtherton learns a lesson the hard way. http://bit.ly/vwdphG

6 things you must know about sexuality. #1 Everyone is sexual http://bit.ly/tumKFv

What a 4 year old should know. #1 They are loved. http://bit.ly/tvafU7

@jenmariepowell on setting goals you can’t miss. Sometimes it’s okay to aim low if you are afraid. http://bit.ly/s4czpV

Write what you know in action by Prudence MacLeod. http://bit.ly/rSzXUw

How to be a Dad gives us the parenting calorie chart  http://bit.ly/vHM6V9

Enhanced by Zemanta

Interspiration this week

Emma Burcart reminds everyone that moderation can be found in many ways http://bit.ly/tX131g

Caring for your Introvert via . Still one of the least understood character traits. Drives me crazy when introversion is equaled with shy. I’m a loudmouth but I still prefer to stay at home alone.

Janelle Madigan is feeling rebellious. http://bit.ly/v16j7Z

I feel like a martian and I’ve been “blogging” since before blogging was cool. Lynette M. Burrows says I’m not alone. http://bit.ly/vshra9 Also who doesn’t love the muppet Martians from Sesame Street?

Enhanced by ZemantaUnicorns for Socialism gives us an appreciation cheat sheet and a list of suggestions on who to thank. http://bit.ly/vXTYmF
Scott Nicholson gives us a taste of  his meme addiction. My head hurts a bit after the Keanu meme, but disaster girl is kinda cute. http://bit.ly/swtlPo

New Car Seat Rules

 

Get past

In the past few months new guidelines have come out for car seat safety. Children are 5 times safer rear facing instead of forward facing.

Laws have not changed. It is still 20 pounds AND 1 year of age in most places when a child can go forward facing. New guildlines say stay rear facing until AT least age 2 or the weight limit of the seat. And yes it is okay for your child’s legs to be crossed, bent or in weird postion. Your child can put their feet in their mouth or behind their head.Sure they could break a leg, but better than a spinal cord injury.

Many car seats available in Canada or the US go until 30-40 lbs and the weight limit is getting higher.

The other safety issue that came to my attention last year was snowsuits. Snowsuits (or even just a coat) is very bulky. When wearing a coat the seat belt/straps should not any looser than when not wearing a coat. Children have slipped out of their car seats because of winter coats. With this in mind I made my son a poncho last year from an old fleece sweater that had lost the elastic around the arms and bottom.

I know car seat information is so overwhelming and it’s hard to keep up with all the new parenting information, but it is so important to do so because the experts are finding out new information all the time. And with the internet it’s not hard to get the latest and best so you can protect your precious children.

Are you keeping up with the latest parenting advice? Do you have children in car seats? How old are they and what seat are you using?

When you went to buy as seat were you overwhelmed by the choices? I know I was and I read a few days ago the one I bought was rated worst by Insurance Institute for Highway Safety . Grr!

Enhanced by Zemanta