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Putting the fun back in dysfunctional.
Category Archives: what if Wednesday
December 3, 2012Posted by on
Okay I need some help. I really don’t want more things for Christmas. So I’m thinking of asking my peeps to give to charity in my name.
Now Plan Canada has specific gifts you can buy. You can buy books for schools, newborn baby care, school supplies all the up to water for an entire village or a primary school. There’s tons of stuff. So I’m leaning toward this strongly. check the website, it’s totally cool. Wish with each gift you could see the family or school or village that received the item that was gifted. But, I know, it costs them money which could go to something else.
The other thing I’m consider is Kiva, or another form of microlending. If you google “problem with microloans” you can find out the downsides to microfunding and if it’s really making a difference.
In terms of making a difference on a large scale, I’m not sure.
What do you think is a better way to give your money away? A targeted donation like Plan Canada, a microloan like Kiva or something entirely different?
November 26, 2012Posted by on
I was thinking about What Ifs and writing from last week.
Writing is about examining the what ifs. We see a situation and add a what if … spin and come up with an original idea.
Or we find a character we love and throw her into a situation and ask what does she need to grow and change, and what force would be the one to force her outside her comfort zone.
It’s part of why I wrote Colors of the Rain. I once went to visit a boy who I thought was the love of my life. He turned out to be terrified once he had gotten what he wanted, me to love him and sleep with him, and I spent two weeks in hell with him. I imagined while I was wandering around some town in South Dakota, can’t recall the name, anyway, I imagined just disappearing. What would it be like? And that question haunted me for years. Until I wrote that story, then it went away.
What ideas do you have that you’d like to explore? Would you, could you explore them through writing, through photography or another form of art?
October 29, 2012Posted by on
I was playing with my phone a few days ago, it’s an Android HTC, I think, and I was installing apps. I installed the Kijiji app and the Ikea App. And then the TED talks app.
In case you’ve been under a rock, TED stands for Technology, Entertainment and Design. According to Wikipedia, TED conferences started in 1984 in California. They’ve grown and are held all over now. The main events are called TED, but any city can host one called a Tedx. And no one is allowed to be paid to speak at a Tedx conference, and all speeches must be allowed to be free streamed on the TED website.
Since 2006, all TED speeches have been available for free on the http://www.ted.com.
Anyway, I was flipping through the TED app and I came across the title “The Game that will can give you 10 extra years of your life” by Jane McGonigal. Since I love anything that says gaming is good, I clicked watched. While I half watched my 10 year old playing a video game and my husband playing a different game on the computer, we listened to to Ms. McGonigal, a game designer, tell us about her experience with games. She suffered a major head trauma and she didn’t heal as we assume concussions normal heal. About 1 in 3 concussion victims end up with suicide ideation.
Instead of just falling into a depression over the pain, or listening to her brain, Jane decided to make her life into a game. She would “collect power-ups” for doing anything that would heal her brain. And in a couple days of playing the game with her sister, her depression started to lift. She started sharing her game with other people on her blog and people started playing their own game and started telling her about their own amazing transformations.
She started calling the game superbetter, which you can play on the website http://www.superbetter.com
My daughter and I both joined. ‘Cause who doesn’t want 10 extra years of life, and some fun. IF anyone has joined in the past or joins after reading this let me know and we can join up and be allies. :)
October 24, 2012Posted by on
I keep imagining …
wearing a garter belt, thigh high stockings
long fingers stroking the soft skin exposed just above the stockings
gentle teasing fingers, touching
soft kisses, long kisses, wet kisses, seeking tongue, nipping teeth, soft lips,
gentle murmurs with romance “so beautiful”, “so sexy”, “can’t wait to touch, to taste, to see”
beach vacation, warm sands, hot nights, revealing clothing
of love, of lovers, of first times and next times and every time,
of young love, mature love,
uncontrolled lust and falling, falling, falling for you.
October 22, 2012Posted by on
This is the culmination of a few things. First, my latest
crush obsession with Eddie Redmayne . Second, trying to figure out my next novel, which I’ve started and crashed about three different times. Third, subsequent daydreaming linked to said crush and writing attempts. Fourth, (I keep adding on) my best friend is in the middle of falling in love. She and her boyfriend as just disgustingly cute about it all!! And last, a post by fellow WANA classmate/friend Kristy K. James, Why Can’t Life be Like a A Love Song?
I was having a lovely daydream the other day about a life different from my own. A life where the mundane things weren’t so mundane, where I was just excited about things and my partner.
And then I started thinking about my husband. I don’t want a new partner. I want him, we have future plans together, which is going to be legendary. But, in the meanwhile, we have to live day to day life and it can get boring and we get entrenched in the exhaustion of two kids, jobs, bills, and the constant threat of clutter taking over our lives. (My husband is perfect for me. I’m keeping him).
But the mundane crap is really a drag.
So it hit me. Why not feel excited about the mundane things? Why not do things for him and be happy I’m making him happy, instead of feeling a bit resentful? Why not be more present with him and with our kids? Why not feel more sexy? Why not put on a bit of an effort for him? Why not feel excited when I see him?
Some people might consider it fake or false to force excitement. You can call it fake it til you make it. I don’t think it is false. After a decade, I can’t expect to feel spontaneous excitement and flooding in my lady bits when he walks in the room like when we were first together. Doesn’t mean it would be false to dwell on it and get excited about him.
A lot of people had the wrong idea about how love should feel. I know I had wrong ideas.
I thought for ages it be as Kristy K James says:
Am I way off base here, or are the feelings expressed in this song the samefeelings that most every adult in the world wants to feel? The newness of love? The uncertainty? The hope? The knowledge that this is the one?
Maybe it’s not the wrong idea of how we should feel, but the idea that we should feel that day in and day out without putting out any effort ourselves.
So, bring up the excitement in your life with what you have. Put out an effort to make the people around you feel the way you want to feel, don’t wait for them to make you happy.
October 10, 2012Posted by on
My personal philosophy is to just let things go. There are few things I get worked up about. Not throwing stuff away ranks high on my list of things to get worked up about. It can be a big issue in my relationship. My husband would just rather throw stuff out. I’d rather donate it, give it to someone or sell it.
This has been my philosophy when it comes to publishing as well.
Right now I have a review for my book Love Can’t Wait on Amazon KDP that says the book is horribly edited. It says words are missing, the book needs to be spell checked. I panicked because this book was professionally edited. I formatted it and I’ve looked at it (not on a Kindle because I do not have one) on my tablet. It looks fine to me.
When I read the review I panicked. I opened the file and ran a spell check. I was going to comment back, because I think it’s a formatting issue. I don’t know. I decided to just let it go. I don’t know if it’s the right or wrong thing to do. The other review is positive. If there were several comments on the formatting problem, I’d reformat and re upload. (If anyone has read the book and notices similar problems please comment here or email at asrai.rd@ gmail.com).
I also noticed that despite my price being changed EVERYWHERE my book, Complications Over Coffee, is sold to 2.99, Amazon has it discounted to 2.99. Annoying? yes. Worth my time to email them? Maybe. Worth their time? Not likely. I checked ALL my others sales channels, it’s 2.99. I don’t know where else it’s discounted. I’ll watch it for right now, if it doesn’t go up, I’ll ask where their data is coming from.
The last thing I’m forced to let go but is really irritating me is Smashwords distribution lag. Any book that’s distributed already goes up fairly quickly. But my last two releases Love Can’t Wait and When Love Knocks claim to have been distributed the last three weeks. They are not up on Barnes and Noble, Apple (Apple doesn’t have Second Chance Romance either) or Sony. The latter two aren’t a big deal, I don’t sell much on either. But I sell a lot of books on B&N this delay is costing me tons of sales. TONS and therefore Smashwords is losing out as well. I have people waiting for it.
I wrote Smashwords an email, but they say they have a backlog for service help. They are hiring more staff it says, but expect to wait 2 weeks to hear from them. I told them I didn’t expect to hear back, but that I wanted my frustration noted. I’ve heard of people waiting 4 months for distribution. Frustrating. Especially if you are a non-US resident, Barnes and Noble won’t let you in without Smashwords.
I love all that Smashwords has done and I’m not going to abandon them during these growing pains.
All of this reminds me that I need to write a letter to the editor of my local paper telling him that I’m thankful he doesn’t get to make the laws on abortion. (I’m very pro-choice and if that alienates you- GOOD. One woman, one brain, one choice what to do with it.).