Putting the fun back in dysfunctional.
Category Archives: social media
I’ve gotten myself into this frenzy of saving people from “wrong” choices.
It started with Yahoo Answers and it escalated to several Facebook groups.
People post something like
“My 18 month old is biting. Spanking and time outs aren’t working.”
And then I get annoyed, because spanking and time outs aren’t teaching tools. And I get anxiety about this person getting MY RIGHT answer and taking my advice.
I am making myself insane.
Also, I’ve taken to really being annoyed about the lack of tolerance shown by so many people in my personal non-writer Facebook. “God wants you to say Merry Christmas” and “Saying Happy Holidays is turning your back on Jesus.”
Tis the season for intolerance.
So, here is my plan. Block Yahoo Answers. Leave these crazy mom communities which seem so often to thrive on drama and infighting and the whole “mommy wars” thing and regain the energy I’m losing toward worrying about things that are not in my control. I will give up my good fight to someone else who has more energy and time than me.
What things are you losing energy to? Could you let go of some of those things and regain that energy?
I have loved How I Met Your Mother since the first season. The first two seasons were great and then the writer’s strike hit and when it came back on, it just didn’t have the same oomph. I mean, I still watch it of course, but it’s lost it’s charm.
The show just really went a few seasons too long. But no matter how annoying Ted’s search for love or Marshall and Lily doing anything gets for viewers. We always have
Barney Stinson. Played by
Dr. Doogie Howser, child M.D. Neil Patrick Harris, who just seems like a genuinely nice guy.
Anyway, Barney’s job is shrouded in mystery. When asked what he does at work he replies “please” and whenever people show him at work, he isn’t actually doing anything work related.
See right there. Please.
Anyway, I was reading 50 Shades of Grey recap. And they mentioned something about Christian Grey’s business.
And I was all like “What business?” because he rarely does any work. He texts and emails Ana a lot. He says he’s in meetings. But he rarely does anything? I mean don’t most multibillionaire, international business owners and CEOs travel pretty frequently? Instead in the three books he takes a few business calls and makes business decisions (buying companies) based on where his girlfriend works so he can further control her life.
Anyway, I’d rather marry Barney Stinson. We’d make it work Barney, I swear!
When I’m working on something I wind up with several files. One of the draft, one with some notes scribbled: like children’s names and ages, a plot map (mostly done as I work or after I’ve written the entire draft) and sometimes a file with deleted scenes. I try to save them with either the working title or character’s names.
But then I never delete them.
Other things I never delete: short stories I started writing. Some of these are finished, but then I decided they were crap. Others I realize are crap while writing them and stop working on them. I have a dozen or more in my dropbox folder, at least four are fan fiction that I”m too embarrassed to share. (All Dragon Age related). Once in a while, there is nothing wrong with a premise I started to write, I just lost all interest.
I have numerous files with self-help, self-improvement and/or power of intention exercise answers in them. I read the burning question from Danielle LaPorte or something from Gabrielle Bernstein and I copy and past the question into a notepad, I answer it and then save it.
Like Done Fucking Deal. (Mine is a big check from Amazon, which I will celebrate by taking people out for dinner after I call my Mom).
I have this odd little montage I did a couple years ago, in the style of “Parenting Illustrated with Crappy Pictures” done in MS Paint. It’s about how I don’t have to be perfect. I might still post that one.
For each of the five novels there are at least 3 saves each as I worked through various stages of edits. If I screwed up a round of editing really badly, I did not want to have to back to the pre-edited manuscript, but I didn’t want to save over that first draft either.
I have three different spreadsheets for various months for tracking sales on Amazon. I’ve never managed to update the spreadsheet for more than 3 consecutive days, so I gave up on that idea this last month.
I have three different spreadsheets for blog planning. (Also a few text notepad saves of various ideas that just didn’t work out in the end. Never mind the eighteen drafts I have saved in WordPress of ideas I later realized were stupid).
And that’s just the laptop which I’ve only had about two years. Never mind the desktop we’ve had for the last four years. Free pdfs from every self-improvement website in exchange for my well guarded email address. Duplicate photos of the kids. In case that last shot didn’t turn out. Every really bad cover image I made. And there were some bad ones.
I need to go through all this stuff and save what is important and delete what is not important. Back up the irreplaceable stuff, like photos. And delete everything else that I can bear to delete. (I am as much a digital packrat as I am in real life).
Do you keep your computer files organized in neat folders? or are they scattered and ill-named, leaving you hunting for things? Do you need to clean up your files?
For readers who want more hockey- you are in luck. My brain figured out the next novel. I know it’s YA for everyone. because I get the feeling i”m going to love this one. (I know I say that EVERY TIME).
but at the same time, I have all these other awesome ideas I want to write.
I had this fairytale romance I started writing. It derailed, but I love the idea. The heroine is the daughter of a high ranking noble, set to marry a Prince, whom she’s never met, when she meets his illegitimate half-brother. I’m not sure where it derailed. This was a lesson I did with Holly Lisle‘s How to Think Sideways, I’ll have to pull out my notes and work through it. I love the idea.
I am mostly finished a May-December romance. And now the new hockey novel wants to run that way as well. I’ll try to resist.
I noticed that one thing I love to write about is a rekindled romance from the teenager years. Maybe I never got over the boys I loved as a teenager. (Also, despite wishing to write erotica, this last romance I wrote has ONE sex scene and it doesn’t even need to be in the book. I am writing less sex!!)
Back to the May-December, I-loved-you-since-I-was-a-teen that is not quite finished. When I write a novel I do the first draft and then I plot it out and look for holes. I think there may be holes, but now that I wrote the HEA my muse is washing her hands of the project.
I was going to force it a bit more, but I think I shall leave it sit for a few weeks, and I’ll go onto HOCKEY.
While I was looking up hot redheads, I stumbled on some gorgeous pictures of Eddie Redmayne. He’s taken up permanent residence my brain people. I’m sorry that you are tired of hearing about him, I am not tired of thinking about him.
I was trying to work his image into a story, and then my brain managed to morph it into a hockey novel. While you are waiting for that to get onto paper, I am going to release a new Corey Porter story. I forgot about this until I was cleaning up some files. I’ll hopefully run it through the editor and get it out shortly. I think you’ll be surprised. Like Where the Path Leads, it will be free on Smashwords. deets later.
There are a few other projects I’ve abandoned over the last few months, maybe years, that I’d like to see finished. Somedays I wish my brain had an off switch, or I had a nanny. If I had a nanny maybe I could get all this shit done.
Let me know what is up in your life.
I always think I want to help people. I want to give them advice and guide them to their right path.
That sounds nice, but what I really want is to tell people what to do and have them listen. Because, I think I know better than other people.
It’s probably not true, but it seems that way when I hang out on Yahoo Answers. I’ve written about it before, I hang out on the newborn board and the Toddler/Preschool Section. Stay away from Pregnancy where every third question is literally “Am I pregnant?” And then the details that follow are either a bunch of vague symptoms or some teen who had sex three days ago and is freaking out because they didn’t use protection, or started taking the pill three days ago or didn’t actually have sex. Every fifth question is asking which of two optional dates/men knocked up the particular asker.
There used to be a person answering under the name “K” who is my favorite person on Yahoo Answers. She just flat out says “you’re an idiot, if you bothered informing yourself you’d know this, this and this.” She’s kind of disappeared again and I feel the need to take her place a little, plus the repetitive questions are wearing.
“My son hits people. We spank, put him in time and throw his toys away as a consequences. He’s getting worse, what should we do?”
Well, smarty pants, hitting your child for hitting is you getting revenge. All punishment only brings attention the wrong he’s done. You don’t teach him what to do next time. (I could rant on this stuff all, check out http://www.ahaparenting.com for the best advice in this regard).
It’s like you having a job and your boss stands next to you and watches you work. Every hour or so, your boss hits you over the head and says “You’re doing that wrong, go stand in the corner for five minutes.” Your five minutes is up, you return to work, you don’t know what to do since your boss wandered off. But he returns and hits you over the head again and says “you’re doing that wrong, go stand in the corner again.”
You have to teach your child how to express himself. And you have to listen to your child’s needs.
//End of answer
It amazes me how many people believe their children are trying to manipulate them via tantrums and crying.
And the thing I’ve learned most about people via yahoo answers, is that they are not willing to inform themselves. At least a quarter of the questions could be answered by people themselves by learning how to properly use a search engine.
It’s probably better that I can’t see if people take my advice or not. I’d probably jump down their throats if they choose something else. I don’t even check best answer (unless I win the contest and give the best answer).
We see this all over the media and on blogs.
Social Media does not help you sell things.
And I’m kinda like DUH!
Social media is for interacting. For making friends, having conversations, getting feedback, responding to feedback, CONNECTING.
It is not passive. People are not sitting around waiting to be told what they want on social media. They are engaged.
It is not for marketing. Not for small marketing. People who have an established brand like Kim Kardashian or whatever, they can use twitter to sell. For the small and medium sized peeps: very little chance.
You are not going to sell to thousands. Social media moves too fast for that. It’s like a bunch of ADHD people on speed.
If I don’t know you, I really don’t care what you have to say. That’s why spammers don’t get anywhere. I don’t want to read your blog, I don’t want to read your novel, I don’t want to have anything to do with you.
I have a core group of friends on twitter and around the blogs I connect with on a regular basis. I talk to people about Dragon Age and other video games. I have a group of writers. I have my editor on there and I tweet how happy I am with her edits. I realized a few weeks ago a good friend went MIA and I am sad and a bit worried as he had a bit of depression (going to send him off an email). I have far too many hashtag searches.
And I do get tweets from fans. (Okay the best thing about this whole writing gig is I get to say I have fans. Me. Who woulda thunk it?) I get to thank them for reading, talk about characters, and let them know when a new book should be heading their way.
If I wanted a quick way to market, I’d buy an advertisement on Facebook. But I’m not in a hurry. I am sticking around and writing more words everyday. And as I sit at home writing in my room late at night while my family sleeps I realize it’s a lonely business and meeting with people on twitter and Facebook fills the social gap.