Asrai Devin- the Maven of Mischief

Putting the fun back in dysfunctional.

Category Archives: humor

Doctor Questionaire

I have a new doctor. It’s a big deal because I live in a town where there are no doctors.

So I was filling out the questionnaire.  And here are the ways I would have liked to fill out some of the questions.

Birth date: Old enough to know better, young enough to try again if the first time was fun.

Previous or current conditions: slight moments of sanity while I try to keep the kids happy and fed, the house chaos to a minimum and find time to fulfill my goals in life. Also, stress.

Do you drink alcohol? See above.

How much? Not as much as I’d like to, I try to keep it to special occasions. Weekends are special occasions right?

How often do you exercise? I have a two year old, who needs to exercise, just follow him around keeping him from harming himself and cleaning up his mess. Also sometimes I walk the dog, but it’s really freaking cold out.

Hobbies and activities? (Left it blank because I assume they meant physical ones). I thought about saying “I spend my spare time getting older daughter to her activities, cleaning house and preparing nutritious yet appetizing meals for my family. What do you do in your spare time? sometimes I crochet, had to stop knitting, kids kept trying to poke each other with the needles”.

Family history:

Heart attack: Grandfather? Maybe.

Diabetes: Cousins.

Cancer: Grandmother

Mental illness:  Where should I start? My family is dysfunctional, but I think it’s pretty average unbalanced issues. Nothing requiring medication or hospitalization.

Previous Surgery: they took out the optional pieces: tonsils as  child, appendix as a young adult, closed up my uterine access to my fallopian tubes.

well next week I’ll have a fun story to tell you all about how my son had to have four teeth removed at age 2.

 

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Barney vs Christian

I have loved How I Met Your Mother since the first season. The first two seasons were great and then the writer’s strike hit and when it came back on, it just didn’t have the same oomph. I mean, I still watch it of course, but it’s lost it’s charm.

The show just really went a few seasons too long. But no matter how annoying Ted’s search for love or Marshall and Lily doing anything gets for viewers. We always have

Barney Stinson. Played by Dr. Doogie Howser, child M.D.  Neil Patrick Harris, who just seems like a genuinely nice guy.

Anyway, Barney’s job is shrouded in mystery. When asked what he does at work he replies “please” and whenever people show him at work, he isn’t actually doing anything work related.

See right there. Please.

Anyway, I was reading 50 Shades of Grey recap. And they mentioned something about Christian Grey’s business.

And I was all like “What business?” because he rarely does any work.  He texts and emails Ana a lot. He says he’s in meetings. But he rarely does anything? I mean don’t most multibillionaire, international business owners and CEOs travel pretty frequently? Instead in the three books he takes a few business calls and makes business decisions (buying companies) based on where his girlfriend works so he can further control her life.

Anyway, I’d rather marry Barney Stinson. We’d make it work Barney, I swear!

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Obsessions: Short people problems

If you fit in a group, there is a tumblr for you.

Mine is short people problems. I am 5 feet 2 and a half inches tall. That is 157 and a half centimetres tall.

When you are this tall, those half inches count A LOT.

Most of my shoes are size 5. Except my boots had to be a 7. Which was really funny because my son wears a 7 in shoes and I had to buy him a 5 in boots.

Anyway, I am small.

Working on this!

I learned to hem this week from Pinterest with the original hem. Search it!

I used to be an educational assistant in a grade 5/6 class. The girls were all hitting their growth spurts, and they all loved to come up to me and say “I’m taller than you Mrs. Devin.”

really? I hadn’t noticed. There were days I was afraid Administration would come into the room and wonder where the teacher was. *sigh*

What is your “problem”?

 

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Obsession: Texts from my dog

Maybe this would be better titled: random shit that makes me laugh.

texts from my dog is one of those guilty pleasures, I don’t even feel that guilty about.

dog texts owner: Fun day. I ran around the house in a cape. I”M BATDOG.

owner: where did you get the cape?

dog: i think roleplaying alleviates my boredom.

owner: WHERE DID YOU GET THE CAPE?

dog: I ripped the curtains down. Why can’t you just be happy for me?

*snark*

http://textfromdog.tumblr.com/

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