Asrai Devin- the Maven of Mischief

Putting the fun back in dysfunctional.

Category Archives: happiness

All the what ifs in the world

My WIP is a big What If … book. I have a thing for “soul mates” who have been separated by time and their own misconceptions (see: Second Chance Romance) who get back together later.

And then I was surfing Facebook and came across a friend from university (I only attended one year and then dropped out) who I had a huge crush on but he was dating someone else and I sorta dated his friend (this was part of why I dropped out). And I think, I think, he liked me as well, but y’know it was what it was, and we never got together.

My mind was wandering like, what if we had dated. Not in a, I wish it were so, kind of way, but in a, what might have happened differently.

Possibly the same things that actually did happen, because I had a lot of issues that I didn’t deal well with. We might have ended in just as a big a train wreck and I would have dropped out and moved home anyway.

Do you ever indulge in the “What if ….” thinking/daydreaming?

 

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Wanna live longer?

I was playing with my phone a few days ago, it’s an Android HTC, I think, and I was installing apps. I installed the Kijiji app and the Ikea App. And then the TED talks app.

In case you’ve been under a rock, TED stands for Technology, Entertainment and Design. According to Wikipedia, TED conferences started in 1984 in California. They’ve grown and are held all over now. The main events are called TED, but any city can host one called a Tedx. And no one is allowed to be paid to speak at a Tedx conference, and all speeches must be allowed to be free streamed on the TED website.

Since 2006, all TED speeches have been available for free on the http://www.ted.com.

Anyway, I was flipping through the TED app and I came across the title “The Game that will can give you 10 extra years of your life” by Jane McGonigal. Since I love anything that says gaming is good, I clicked watched. While I half watched my 10 year old playing a video game and my husband playing a different game on the computer, we listened to to Ms. McGonigal, a game designer, tell us about her experience with games. She suffered a major head trauma and she didn’t heal as we assume concussions normal heal. About 1 in 3 concussion victims end up with suicide ideation.

Instead of just falling into a depression over the pain, or listening to her brain, Jane decided to make her life into a game. She would “collect power-ups” for doing anything that would heal her brain. And in a couple days of playing the game with her sister, her depression started to lift. She started sharing her game with other people on her blog and people started playing their own game and started telling her about their own amazing transformations.

She started calling the game superbetter, which you can play on the website http://www.superbetter.com 

My daughter and I both joined. ‘Cause who doesn’t want 10 extra years of life, and some fun. IF anyone has joined in the past or joins after reading this let me know and we can join up and be allies. :)

 

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Get excited about your life

This is the culmination of a few things. First, my latest crush obsession with Eddie Redmayne . Second, trying to figure out my next novel, which I’ve started and crashed about three different times. Third, subsequent daydreaming linked to said crush and writing attempts. Fourth, (I keep adding on) my best friend is in the middle of falling in love. She and her boyfriend as just disgustingly cute about it all!! And last, a post by fellow WANA classmate/friend Kristy K. James, Why Can’t Life be Like a A Love Song?

I was having a lovely daydream the other day about a life different from my own. A life where the mundane things weren’t so mundane, where I was just excited about things and my partner.

And then I started thinking about my husband. I don’t want a new partner. I want him, we have future plans together, which is going to be legendary. But, in the meanwhile, we have to live day to day life and it can get boring and we get entrenched in the exhaustion of two kids, jobs, bills, and the constant threat of clutter taking over our lives. (My husband is perfect for me. I’m keeping him).

But the mundane crap is really a drag.

So it hit me. Why not feel excited about the mundane things? Why not do things for him and be happy I’m making him happy, instead of feeling a bit resentful? Why not be more present with him and with our kids? Why not feel more sexy? Why not put on a bit of an effort for him? Why not feel excited when I see him?

Some people might consider it fake or false to force excitement. You can call it fake it til you make it. I don’t think it is false. After a decade, I can’t expect to feel spontaneous excitement and flooding in my lady bits when he walks in the room like when we were first together. Doesn’t mean it would be false to dwell on it and get excited about him.

A lot of people had the wrong idea about how love should feel. I know I had wrong ideas.

I thought for ages it be as Kristy K James says:

Am I way off base here, or are the feelings expressed in this song the samefeelings that most every adult in the world wants to feel? The newness of love? The uncertainty? The hope? The knowledge that this is the one?

Maybe it’s not the wrong idea of how we should feel, but the idea that we should feel that day in and day out without putting out any effort ourselves.

So, bring up the excitement in your life with what you have. Put out an effort to make the people around you feel the way you want to feel, don’t wait for them to make you happy.

 

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