Asrai Devin- the Maven of Mischief

Putting the fun back in dysfunctional.

Category Archives: anger

Wanna live longer?

I was playing with my phone a few days ago, it’s an Android HTC, I think, and I was installing apps. I installed the Kijiji app and the Ikea App. And then the TED talks app.

In case you’ve been under a rock, TED stands for Technology, Entertainment and Design. According to Wikipedia, TED conferences started in 1984 in California. They’ve grown and are held all over now. The main events are called TED, but any city can host one called a Tedx. And no one is allowed to be paid to speak at a Tedx conference, and all speeches must be allowed to be free streamed on the TED website.

Since 2006, all TED speeches have been available for free on the http://www.ted.com.

Anyway, I was flipping through the TED app and I came across the title “The Game that will can give you 10 extra years of your life” by Jane McGonigal. Since I love anything that says gaming is good, I clicked watched. While I half watched my 10 year old playing a video game and my husband playing a different game on the computer, we listened to to Ms. McGonigal, a game designer, tell us about her experience with games. She suffered a major head trauma and she didn’t heal as we assume concussions normal heal. About 1 in 3 concussion victims end up with suicide ideation.

Instead of just falling into a depression over the pain, or listening to her brain, Jane decided to make her life into a game. She would “collect power-ups” for doing anything that would heal her brain. And in a couple days of playing the game with her sister, her depression started to lift. She started sharing her game with other people on her blog and people started playing their own game and started telling her about their own amazing transformations.

She started calling the game superbetter, which you can play on the website http://www.superbetter.com 

My daughter and I both joined. ‘Cause who doesn’t want 10 extra years of life, and some fun. IF anyone has joined in the past or joins after reading this let me know and we can join up and be allies. :)

 

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What I really want

 

I always think I want to help  people. I want to give them advice and guide them to their right path.

That sounds nice, but what I really want is to tell people what to do and have them listen. Because, I think I know better than other people.

It’s probably not true, but it seems that way when I hang out on Yahoo Answers. I’ve written about it before, I hang out on the newborn board and the Toddler/Preschool Section. Stay away from Pregnancy where every third question is literally “Am I pregnant?” And then the details that follow are either a bunch of vague symptoms or some teen who had sex three days ago and is freaking out because they didn’t use protection, or started taking the pill three days ago or didn’t actually have sex. Every fifth question is asking which of two optional dates/men knocked up the particular asker.

There used to be a person answering under the name “K” who is my favorite person on Yahoo Answers. She just flat out says “you’re an idiot, if you bothered informing yourself you’d know this, this and this.” She’s kind of disappeared again and I feel the need to take her place a little, plus the repetitive questions are wearing.

“My son hits people. We spank, put him in time and throw his toys away as a consequences. He’s getting worse, what should we do?”

Well, smarty pants, hitting your child for hitting is you getting revenge. All punishment only brings attention the wrong he’s done. You don’t teach him what to do next time.  (I could rant on this stuff all, check out http://www.ahaparenting.com for the best advice in this regard).

It’s like you having a job and your boss stands next to you and watches you work. Every hour or so, your boss hits you over the head and says “You’re doing that wrong, go stand in the corner for five minutes.” Your five minutes is up, you return to work, you don’t know what to do since your boss wandered off. But he returns and hits you over the head again and says “you’re doing that wrong, go stand in the corner again.”

You have to teach your child how to express himself. And you have to listen to your child’s needs.

//End of answer

It amazes me how many people believe their children are trying to manipulate them via tantrums and crying.

And the thing I’ve learned most about people via yahoo answers, is that they are not willing to inform themselves. At least a quarter of the questions could be answered by people themselves by learning how to properly use a search engine.

It’s probably better that I can’t see if people take my advice or not. I’d probably jump down their throats if they choose something else. I don’t even check best answer (unless I win the contest and give the best answer).

 

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Social media is not for marketing

We see this all over the media and on blogs.

Social Media does not help you sell things.

And I’m kinda like DUH!

Social media is for interacting. For making friends, having conversations, getting feedback, responding to feedback, CONNECTING.

It is not passive. People are not sitting around waiting to be told what they want on social media. They are engaged.

It is not for marketing. Not for small marketing. People who have an established brand like Kim Kardashian or whatever, they can use twitter to sell. For the small and medium sized peeps: very little chance.

You are not going to sell to thousands. Social media moves too fast for that. It’s like a bunch of ADHD people on speed.

If I don’t know you, I really don’t care what you have to say. That’s why spammers don’t get anywhere. I don’t want to read your blog, I don’t want to read your novel, I don’t want to have anything to do with you.

I have a core group of friends on twitter and around the blogs I connect with on a regular basis. I talk to people about Dragon Age and other video games. I have a group of writers. I have my editor on there and I tweet how happy I am with her edits. I realized a few weeks ago a good friend went MIA and I am sad and a bit worried as he had a bit of depression (going to send him off an email). I have far too many hashtag searches.

And I do get tweets from fans. (Okay the best thing about this whole writing gig is I get to say I have fans. Me. Who woulda thunk it?) I get to thank them for reading, talk about characters, and let them know when a new book should be heading their way.

If I wanted a quick way to market, I’d buy an advertisement on Facebook. But I’m not in a hurry. I am sticking around and writing more words everyday. And as I sit at home writing in my room late at night while my family sleeps I realize it’s a lonely business and meeting with people on twitter and Facebook fills the social gap.

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Vacation: Screaming, spitting and dancing edition

 

We got back from vacation and I have a ton of pictures to share. We drove across the entire province of Alberta (SK border to BC) then half way across BC and then straight down the middle (Prince George to Kamloops) made a stop between Revelstoke and Sicamous then returned home.

It was done in 6 hour driving chunks which were more like 8 hour with a two-year-old.

funny highlights:

When I FLIPPED the fuck out on my nephew because he grabbed a box of cookies from my hand and ran. I just lost it, because I was NOT in the mood to play chase a teenager for cookies. I’m the adult and he’s a child and I do not play “keep away” BS. There was screaming and swearing. It was BAD. I feel like an ass. I was an ass. I’ll never live it down. EVER.

Then we were all out on the porch and my in-laws are handing out cookies. But there are more children than cookies so my SIL says “Just throw the last two in the middle of the kids [in the back yard] and it will be like the Hunger Games.”

I had a mouthful of wine and I had this awesome image of the kids beating the crap out of each other for these cookies. So I ended up spitting my mouthful of wine all over my husband’s cousin who was beside me. That was not my fault however.

Between the however many of us there were, we drank 2 bottles of wine. Well most of 2 bottles, there was a big glass left when everyone had gone but us (we were staying at my in-laws). Five years ago, I got REALLY drunk at their house, so they were feeding me wine again. I get drunk really fast.

There was dancing and singing in the backyard. I was heading to the basement and singing “Don’t Feel Like Dancing” by the Scissor Sisters and trying to do the actions from the Just Dance 3. Good times. I think.

Then we played some cards and some jackass decided I should be score keeper. I usually am, but I was pretty drunk. So The names on the top say “ME”, “YOU” (husband), GRANDPA (Father in law), an actual name and then “my wonderful first born child”.

I wrote about 15,000 words while on “vacation”. I have two books back from two editors. One has a cover I worked very hard on and now hate that I have my cover artist. (She did Second Chance Romance for me last month LOVE LOVE LOVE- at an insanely reasonable price). But that’s the book AFTER the one I don’t have even have a title for. I tried to figure it out while we were driving, NOTHING.

So, that was the lowlights of my vacation. There is much to report. I have MANY mountain pictures if anyone needs pictures of mountains. I’m there. I’ll post some in the coming weeks. And I’m back on twitter and hopefully my blog will pick-up again. I haven’t heard from the lady I was baby-sitting for, so maybe she fired me. Whatevs.

 

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Judging is easy

I wanted to write a series of posts about parenting and my views. I’m a pro-attachment parent or maybe better to say responsive parent, we don’t do cry it out and we co-sleep (still) and breastfeed and my baby was rarely set down because he hated being on his back and he wouldn’t sleep without me for five months. And lots of things. And I’m very strongly against spanking.

And I wanted to write this post, and it was kind of a “why you are a horrible person if you spank” type post. Which is an opinion. and I feel that my opinion is the right one and shaming people who don’t agree is okay.

Then I was reading my RSS feed and someone wrote a scathing post about people living on the welfare system and they labelled three illnesses or disease that could be faked so that someone could use the welfare system. Bipolar, multiple sclerosis and fibromyalgia.

And it really pissed me off, because I know people with these conditions. They don’t want to have them, and they have no choice but to rely on assistance of others, whether government or a partner.

I wrote a really nasty reply and then as I read it over, I deleted it and said “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”

It is easy to make judgments of others. And I will sometimes readily admit to judging people who make choices I believe are wrong.

There’s that meme on Facebook that makes me want to gouge my eyes out, but it’s true here.

he Girl you just called fat? She has been starving herself & has lost over 30lbs. The Boy you called stupid, he has a learning disability & studies over 4hrs a night. The Girl you called ugly? She spends hours putting make-up on hoping people will like her. The Boy you just tripped? He is abused enough at home. There’s a lot more to people then you think.

Making fun of or judging any group of people is not nice, it’s not funny and it’s generally just passive-aggressive or in my blog example above, just plain mean. Unless the person is  your close friend, we generally don’t know the true story behind anyone’s life.

And we wonder why bullying is such a problem in school, when so many adults are still doing it!!

What examples do you have of bullying in your life? Do you find yourself in judgement of others? What can we do to bring this to more people’s attention?

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