Asrai Devin- the Maven of Mischief

Putting the fun back in dysfunctional.

What I really want

 

I always think I want to help  people. I want to give them advice and guide them to their right path.

That sounds nice, but what I really want is to tell people what to do and have them listen. Because, I think I know better than other people.

It’s probably not true, but it seems that way when I hang out on Yahoo Answers. I’ve written about it before, I hang out on the newborn board and the Toddler/Preschool Section. Stay away from Pregnancy where every third question is literally “Am I pregnant?” And then the details that follow are either a bunch of vague symptoms or some teen who had sex three days ago and is freaking out because they didn’t use protection, or started taking the pill three days ago or didn’t actually have sex. Every fifth question is asking which of two optional dates/men knocked up the particular asker.

There used to be a person answering under the name “K” who is my favorite person on Yahoo Answers. She just flat out says “you’re an idiot, if you bothered informing yourself you’d know this, this and this.” She’s kind of disappeared again and I feel the need to take her place a little, plus the repetitive questions are wearing.

“My son hits people. We spank, put him in time and throw his toys away as a consequences. He’s getting worse, what should we do?”

Well, smarty pants, hitting your child for hitting is you getting revenge. All punishment only brings attention the wrong he’s done. You don’t teach him what to do next time.  (I could rant on this stuff all, check out http://www.ahaparenting.com for the best advice in this regard).

It’s like you having a job and your boss stands next to you and watches you work. Every hour or so, your boss hits you over the head and says “You’re doing that wrong, go stand in the corner for five minutes.” Your five minutes is up, you return to work, you don’t know what to do since your boss wandered off. But he returns and hits you over the head again and says “you’re doing that wrong, go stand in the corner again.”

You have to teach your child how to express himself. And you have to listen to your child’s needs.

//End of answer

It amazes me how many people believe their children are trying to manipulate them via tantrums and crying.

And the thing I’ve learned most about people via yahoo answers, is that they are not willing to inform themselves. At least a quarter of the questions could be answered by people themselves by learning how to properly use a search engine.

It’s probably better that I can’t see if people take my advice or not. I’d probably jump down their throats if they choose something else. I don’t even check best answer (unless I win the contest and give the best answer).

 

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2 responses to “What I really want

  1. Louise Behiel October 3, 2012 at 6:07 pm

    I always am amazed at people who cry and carry on because of a problem, but they won’t put into action any of the solutions…too weird. but as long as they pay me, I don’t complain too loud

  2. Jae October 4, 2012 at 12:06 pm

    I think part of giving good advice is having people savoir-faire. It’s discussion-oriented response vs. a lecture-oriented response. It seems like what you’re getting at is helping people to understand how to dialogue with their kids for a more positive response. We can yell at people, tell them they’re stupid, even resort to hitting them, but that doesn’t result in real communication. When we take the time to show the person we care about them more than we care about being right they’re more likely to respond to what we have to say. I feel like that was the crux of what you’re getting at. It would certainly work better for those parents, but I have to admit, screaming kids do certainly try one’s patience. ;)

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