Admitting faults

I am allergic to deodorant. I’ve found the crystal works okay, if you do about 50 strokes. This story happened between the time I found out I was allergic to deodorant (i’ve tried many kinds, I wind up with an itchy rash under my arms) and finding the crystal stuff.

I worked a very labour intensive shelf-stocking job. I hated it and I think I was trying to get out of their subconsciously. Anyway, I worked hard, moving stock but I sweated. And someone, I believe I know who and he was no daisy, but that’s vindictive, either. Anyway, the assistant manager had to tell me I smelled. My response was to stop working as hard at the job so I didn’t work up a sweat. It worked. I didn’t stay long after, i went to a nice evening office cleaning job where I worked ALONE. My supervisor, whose son went to school with my daughter for 4 years and become a good friend of ours, had five or so other sites plus cleaning to do, so he rarely even checked on me. Anyway, getting criticism, even for working too hard, SUCKS.

(Vindictive comment alert again: grocery store you can bite me, you didn’t even give an employee discount for shopping there and your food was double the other stores, and you would complain about employees who didn’t shop at said store).

I am getting sample edits from some editors. One wrote me and asked me some questions about my goals and ability to take criticism.

I’m already thinking she sees major problems with my work and she’ll tell me there is too much to work with at her price. That I should give up my dreams of being a professional writer, because it’s sooo bad.

I don’t like criticism. Of course.

No one wants to hear about their mistakes.

I am particularly good at harping on myself about choices I’ve made. As if telling myself how bad something was is going to change the choice or the outcome. I have a hard time letting things go and when it comes to my own mis-steps, I am keeping score.

It’s an extreme introvert with a self-esteem issue.

So back to getting criticism. Even constructive criticism.

I never reply to mean comments. After I let things sit for a bit, I will reply to constructive comments and make changes accordingly. I developed a bit of a thick skin after moderating a Freecycle(TM) group for six years.

Actually I developed the ability to write long rants and not hit the send button before I threw a few tantrums in the form of rants and raves to my husband, and then we would discuss things logically and then he would help me write a nice reply and we could move on.

I think I’ll tell her that while I don’t like to hear about mistakes I’ve made, not because I don’t think I make them, but because I’d rather  not face my fatal (oh the drama) flaws. So, once I get bad news, I’ll take a couple hours to days to come to the conclusion the other person is right, and then I’ll drag my sorry butt back to the person, admit they are right and try to change in ways they believe will be beneficial.

I also need to tell her that I can’t spell for shit and my typing is often faster than my brain so typofairies live within my work. Which is the main edit I wanted.

How do you do with criticism? Any good stories about ways you’ve reacted badly or well to criticism you’ve received?

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