making peace with drudgery

This phrase came to my mind the other day while i pondered my life as a unpaid parenting professional. I advocate we stop calling us stay-at-home-parents or even say-at-home-MOM, like moms who don’t have paid jobs are worth less to society then people who have a salary.

I want to save the title for when I get bored of being the Maven of Mischief (thanks to Kristen Lamb for the suggestion, i think that should go on my future business cards). But anyway, rambling is not the point here.

There is an importance to raising children that is lost.

I once read about a childless man complaining about his taxes going toward education. Seriously. These children will care for you in your old age, design the car you will drive in 30 years, run the country, work in the hospitals or even serve you up some fries at McDonald’s (no shame in it- we all want fast food, someone has to make it for us lazy people who don’t want to slaughter our own cows out back). Society depends on the young, you were young once and society paid for you to learn to read and write so you could voice your (ignorant) opinion.

I once stood in the freezing cold doing recess supervision, I watched the children be children (I worked at the best school), having fun. I watched them, nurtured them in the classroom and it hit me on the playground how important these children were, are, I just don’t see them daily. I have no idea what they are going to be individually as “grown-ups” but together they are the fabric of society, the future society anyway. Everything in their lives would contribute to them becoming empathetic, caring, hard-working individuals or possible criminals in prison. By virtue of luck, they were well on their way to being the former, because of their place of residence and options for schooling.

So while, pushing cars back and forth with my son is neither stimulating for me or having a huge impact on his future, he does know that I care about him. I can impart my wisdom upon him. And I’m not out somewhere having an anxiety attack about the person I’ve entrusted him to.

And in researching for this article I came across some horrible opinions. Mothering is not good enough for women’s intellect. (Says the women who has never had to explain a miscarriage to a 5 year old, why you can’t swear in public to a 4 year old or tried to make a meal while entertaining a toddler who insists he can stir the pots on the stove).

And they are missing the point, everyone is missing the point.

No matter how you do it: PARENTING IS IMPORTANT WORK.

I need that on a bumper sticker or tatoo or big sign in the sky.

Where do you weigh in on the mommy wars?

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One thought on “making peace with drudgery

  1. I’ve said the same thing for years. I don’t have any kids yet, but that is because when I have kids I want to make certain that I give them my best and if I’m in school I don’t think I can really do that. Thanks for being a voice for whats really important in the world: Our kids.

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