Useless records

I recall pouring over Guinness Book of World Records at various times in the 90s. Some of the records were interesting, some were funny and some you just wondered why people would do that.

I give you a 10 of the most useless records on

10. Most times kicked self in the head in 15 seconds.

I just really dont know what to say.He did it 24 times.

9. Most x-box cases balanced on a head.

As opposed to DVD cases, Wii cases or any other type of plastic case. It is 11.

8. Largest Snapple Bottle Collection

As seen on A&Es Hoarders? 269

7. Most newspaper articles mentioning ones full name

Did you really need to share with the world you were in the newspaper 20 times? Not sure if letters to the editor should really count? And the Sun newspaper is closer to a tabloid then news printer.

6. Most pencil taps on a flute book

Im not impressed by this. No mention of a time limit. Do you just tap til you get bored or your hand cramps up? If I beat the record does it  have to be on a flute book?

5. Most URLs tattooed on a body

Should we be impressed by the way this guy ruined his body for no reason? I think a t-shirt with an advertisement would be a better way to get money. Besides URLs change so fast, half of those probably don’t exist anymore.

4.Most graphic novels balanced on a head while wearing a Bobba Fett helmet.

I would be more impressed if it was encyclopedias. Although they don’t make those anymore.

3.Largest pile of snails.

Where do you even get 56 snails from?

2. Most people jumping invisible rope

Well good for you, you lined up 31 of your friends in a hallway and you jumped at the same time. I’d be more impressed if they jumped an ACTUAL rope.

1. All of the Highest Score on any game on any level.

No one cares but you and your friends. I promise. Even Angry Birds.

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3 thoughts on “Useless records

  1. When I read the title my mind went immediately to my extensive collection of backlogged of paperwork…

    I’ve often wondered what the point is in setting a record. Olympics-envy? They have no talent for sports…or any other talent, for that matter, so they find the weirdest things that can be imagined and go for it?

    Yes, these are good for a laugh, but I do wonder about people today. Too bad they can’t set records for things like most little old ladies they helped cross the street, kittens rescued from trees, or pieces of litter picked up in public parks.

    Fun article, Asrai! :)

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