Asrai Devin- the Maven of Mischief

Putting the fun back in dysfunctional.

Perfect Mom Monday: Losing your cool

My first daughter was a breeze. She went with the flow. But then again, she was my only child and she could have all my attention. We didn’t own our house. We didn’t have a lot of possessions and my husband’s job was 9-5 Monday to Friday.

Nine years (nine years today Happy birthday! to my sweet daughter) later, our son is 17 months and very needy. Needier than I recall my daughter being (but I have rose-coloured hindsight).

The more I need or want to get a task done, the needier he becomes.

We finished my daughter’s paint job during nap time and I wanted to get the trim slapped up before supper. Of course, he starts needing on my lap. Needing up. needing the hammer I’m using and to also dump the nails on the floor.

It was good when I started. I was calm. I could handle it and he was okay with just a hug. But then a hug wasn’t enough, he start whining. And then he started crying.

And I lost it. I yelled at him. (god this is so embarrassing, I yelled at a 17 month-old child for crying- god he needs to start talking. I can’t handle his screaming about everything that he doesn’t like or does like but can’t get).

I wished he had a crib so I could throw him in there and let him cry it out while I cooled down. But his crib is  a toddler bed and the mattress is on the floor of our bedroom and getting out of my daughter’s room was a safety issue because her trim was laying in the doorway.

So I yelled at him. I grabbed him up and he kept crying. I tried to keep working and he cried. I freaked out some more. I slapped up the piece of trim I was working on and then removed us both from the situation.

Things I’ll do better next time:

1) Stop  pushing on when  he’s unhappy with the situation. I always try to keep going with my agenda and it never works out. I always find I get angry when I’m working against reality. 17-month-olds are a lot like brick walls, you can keep throwing yourself at it but it doesn’t budge. Unless there is something I have to get done, I don’t have an example on something that cannot wait five minutes, in which case he will have to cry.

2) Set up a time out place for him and for myself. Probably bring him to his mattress. I’m afraid my temper is effecting his reactions to his own anger. I need to teach him how to deal with his frustration a little more constructively, by managing my own.

Share your stories of losing your temper with your children in the comments to commiserate. Or do you have any tips and techniques for keeping cool under pressure? What are your hot button issues?

Join me on Twitter with the hashtag #goldstarmom where we congratulate ourselves for getting through life and making it look easy. Or let me know how many points you earned this week by cooking supper on Facebook

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One response to “Perfect Mom Monday: Losing your cool

  1. Debra Kristi October 18, 2011 at 10:11 am

    Hi Asari,

    Found your blog! Love your tag line. My reading lead me down to this post. I think as moms we have all had days like this when we feel we could have done better. My children are constantly pushing me up against the wall. It’s a never ending struggle to keep everyone happy and to get things done. But it’s worth it. My daughter didn’t find her speech until later than most. I hope your son starts talking sooner. Take heart, you’re never alone.

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