Putting the fun back in dysfunctional.
Talking to Fear
I wrote last week about trying for open spaces.
I looked into what should be open space in my heart and mind and found fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of this house selling and us having nowhere to move, fear of … fear, fear, fear.
After following many guided mediations on various things, I’ve created an inner refuge, an island. I can sit on the beach or head into the woods. I have spirit guides I can visit.
Andrea Schroeder from ABC Creative has been blogging about talking to her fear gremlins. So, I asked my fear what it wanted.
A massage. And to relax.
So I took my fear to my inner beach. I got out some nice lounging chairs and we sat in the sun.
“Won’t we get skin cancer?” Fear said.
“This isn’t a real beach. We can sit in the sun all day and we’ll never get burnt or get cancer,” I said. “What else do you want?”
“A drink. Can we have drinks?”
“Sure. You can have alcohol if you want. It’s not really real here.” A waiter came and brought us drinks. Pineapple juice for me. Yum. “Anything else you want?”
“I just want to relax. You seem a little anxious,” Fear said.
“I’m feeling anxious. I think we’ll invite anxiety in.” Anxiety bounced onto the beach. I tried to get Anxiety to sit in a chair, but it was far too jumpy, so I offered a swim.
“No, A shark might eat me.”
“Well there are no sharks here.”
“I might drown,” Anxiety said, still jumping.
“How about a trampoline?”
Anxiety jumped on the trampoline, while Fear and I relaxed in our chairs under the warm sun.
Then Dread came in the pit of my stomach. I invited Dread to the beach for a chat.
“What’s up Dread? Something is bugging you.”
“I’m just worried about the house selling and the family being homeless.”
“Well, we can always move into SIL’s house. They want to rent to us.”
“They won’t be out until mid-September.”
“We’ll live in the camping trailer in their driveway.”
“With two cats and a dog.”
“Sure. We’ll make it work. We won’t be homeless.”
“What about a job? What if Husband can’t find full-time work in the city.”
“There are lots of jobs. If he can’t find a full-time job, we can both work part-time. We can find work. It’s not a problem. If it is, we have savings to live on for a while until we do find jobs.”
What are you fearing? Can you take it out on a date and have a chat with it? You’ll be surprised at what you find there? Find out what your fear or anxiety or dread wants? Refute everything that it believes is true.
Sometimes a little bit of fantasy with our feelings can really bring things into perspective and shrink those fears down to what they really are: nothing.